Ive come to appreciate friends more than anything else in the world & this past weekend is why. Thursday was my last class for the semester & afterwards I took a greyhound to philly. I got in about 11 & wandered a cold rainy philly til about 12:30 when liz got in, because her flight was delayed. Friday jason & melissa came in & we saw the number 12 together for the 3rd time in 3 months. Ive come to love philly tremendously over the past few months thru many visits & I always have a good time. saturday morning we came to lancaster & were here til sinday morning & the less than 24 hours we were here were terrible. sunday we ended up in jersey at melissas for dinner & then I ended up in philly again last nite & took the train home early this morning. I havent even been in lancaster 12 hours & i'm so ready to be gone. I think i'm staying thru new years & then heading back to d.c. to find a job & try & set up permanence down there because this place is a shithole.
Ive started reading "killing yourself to live" again & its really freaking me the fuck out. I relate to klosterman so much & i'm just waiting to have a breakdown. Everytime i think i'm getting better something snaps me back to realize how fucked in the head i really am. When i'm with certain people i'm the happiest ive ever been & then i'm back to lancaster & it all goes away instantly.
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