the wanderers lament

im back in dc
but not for long
im going on a short tour
with justins band
til the 8th of january
& then im trying to convince
tara to come visit
i also need to find a job
at some point

this will most likely be
the last past of the year
i was planning a round up
list of sorts
but im having trouble

i started my year in toronto
& then getting drunk for my first time
in brooklyn
a roadtrip thru the south
which was everything
i couldve hoped for
it was the summer
of camp rock
met the german kid
we drank our way
thru working 9-5
i fell in love
& broke a heart or two
new york was rough at first
but i ended up really enjoying it
melissa is by far
the best roommate ive ever had
asked out a stranger
for the first time ever
made friends
downed drinks
kissed pretty girls
all in all it was a pretty solid year
they seem to keep getting better

im pretty sure
gaslight anthem was the
background music of the year
& hot water musics "trusty chords"
was the therapy

this year im making
100 resolutions
& one of those hundred
is to not care about
the other 99

nothing ever changes

im in va beach

lancaster was lancaster
it never seems to be an easy time
while im there
its always the highest of highs
& the lowest of lows
i saw sophie for the first time
in almost 2 years
& we sat in a diner for close to 5 hours
& just talked
i saw tara
& she always makes me happy
that girl can cure cancer
with a smile
heard justins bands new album
& its of course
amazing

im starting to realize
how fucked in the head i am
im looking for people to fix my problems
& i fixate on people
like tattoo girl
& the girl i had one date with
& girls i kissed a year or more ago
& i constantly wonder
how they feel about me
but the people who
ive fucked up with
& left
i just write off
fuck self relfection

i should be all over the northeast
in the coming week
or all over the south
depending how things pan out

im ready for it to be the 26th

chris wollard & the ship theives on repeat

cut the rope

i left ny in a lurch
like i usually do
packed up
barely said bye to melissa
& was gone

the show last nite was ok
a couple friends came
which was nice
i have prints for sale
if anyones interested let me know

gustav & i
drove around tonight
blasting gaslight anthem
& ruining peoples xmass

snows already starting to lay
i love snow
but im not looking
to be stranded in lancaster

im supposed to see tara
on sunday
which i hope i do
shes one of my favorite people
ever
& i dont see/talk to her enough

justin hopefully tomorrow

i realized today
that give up the ghost
is good for me to have around
or else there would be
a lot of holes punched in walls

i guess this is goodbye

i leave ny
in 60 hours
& im sort of indifferent about it
not happy
not sad

since friday
ive been drunk off
jaeger
rum
& screwdrivers
with only enough time to sober up
before drinking again
on sunday printed my show
from 10am to 630 am
then caught a 7am bus back to ny
where i hung my show
& inhaled painted fumes for a few hours
& in all this time ive slept about 12 hours
& as harmony told me today
my body basically said
fuck you
to me today
i just ache & hurt
& a shit ton went wrong

& to top it off
the number 12 broke up

not looking forward to lancaster
or virginia beach
im just not a family person
& as much of a dick that may make me
i dont think i really care
i cant wait til i can skip
this time of year

crit tomorrow
kind of nervous

show thursday

i just kind of coasting right now

maybe half a drink more

elf was on in the background the other day
& im pretty sure i would give anything
to sing
baby its cold outside
with zooey deschanel
in the shower

new yorks coming to a close
i quit my job
my studios empty
painted
& cleaned
im going to dc early sunday morning
to print my final
i come back tuesday
crit wednesday
show thursday
& friday i leave

i made a couple really good friends here
maybe ill keep in touch
maybe not
with me you never know

im excited for dc again
but part of me wishes
it was somewhere new

man overboard

im a huge proponent of lists
always have been
what follows has been a mental list
for quite some time
but i thought id put it up
in response to saras

10 things to do everyday
1. run
2. read
3. write
4. talk to someone new
5. break glass
6. bike
7. make/ create/ find art
8. 100 push up plan
9. call a friend
10. finish something

& 5 things not to do
1. drink
2. ruin something
3. watch tv
4. apologize
5. over analyze

probably not the best info
to follow this list
but i had one to many
rum & cokes last night
& tried to hit on
probably my best friend
ive met since being here
& have no recollection
of getting home
you win some
you lose some

im skipping my last nite of work
to go see the gaslight anthem
in new jersey

& there may be a short trip to dc
before the semesters over

i need change
again