empty break down lanes

my date tonite can be summed up
by this video

so now its 2 parts tequila
2 parts mango juice
1 part caution
1 part from here to infirmary

i need to travel
i need a trip
i need the unknown

just keep fucking shit up
but you wake up tomorrow
& put one foot
in front of the other

its monday & raining

ive never actually asked a girl on a real date before

its always been friends of friends

but a girl came into my cafe

last week

& easily has the best smile ive ever seen

she walked out & i chased after her

& asked her out

we have a date tonite

& im mildly freaking out

so all thats been on my mind today

is this

one of my least favorite blink songs

but still good none the less

i spent the day in a cafe

in the east village

listening to joy division

& the smiths

with it pouring outside

oddly movie esque

the runnings been going well

im already back to the point i was in dc

next semesters going to be rigorous

i miss drinking alone

with that one record on repeat

but self control for a better me

i hope

my time in ny is almost up

& its been a really weird 4 months

if anything its reinforced

my need for change

as frequently as possible

always knew i was wrong

my only real goal when i started college
was to run a marathon before i graduated
well i havent yet
& october is my last chance
so it begins
im stopping drinking
im running again everyday
im eating better
& im going to try & train
& in october ill be running
the marine corp marathon

if you know me you know
i hate this time of year
im going to thanksgiving
with saras family
& nothing against them
but im not really thrilled
by any stretch of the mind

somehow a folgers commercial
managed to make me feel
like a shitty son/ brother

alkaline trio "from here to infirmary"
if you havent listened to this album
since you were 15
then prepare to have your mind be blown

save me from myself

curvy bracket

1 part tequila

1 part vodka

1 part pineapple juice

1 part sprite

a splash of grenadine

1 nite of bad choices

& a rough morning to follow

the cold side of the bed

seems to be that way

no matter the temperature

i read moyra daveys book

notes on photography & accident

in it she states almost everything

i think/ feel about photography

thanksgivings coming up

im spending it alone

& i couldnt be more excited 

ive never been one for holidays

& this time of year is generally

pretty shitty for me mentally

i saw an olaf breuning exhibit this past week

that left me speechless

he deals a lot with text

& emotions

& economics

toby burrows series

suburbia

is right on

2 flat tires on the way to class today

& apparently i was looking rough

because some guy walked by me 

& said

someone got a little sauced last nite

my sister is turning 15 next week

& my sort of stepsister is engaged

mind fuck ensues

recently saw thank you for smoking

id like to see it again from the beginning

it was shot tremendously well

i scanned a bunch more negatives

im going to be printing 

in the next few weeks

my show is the 17th of december

& im doing a reading at dcad on the 4th

the next few weeks should be interesting

ive been running again

& trying to bike more

its been good for the mental health

alkaline trio

taking back sunday

saves the day

on repeat

she coulda raised the titanic

was shown doug aitken today

by one of my teachers

blow debris is fantastic

was also shown moyra davey

both are amazing

& are good reference points

for myself

& my work

ive been working a lot

in an effort

to keep my mind off things

& to gather some money

as i dont have a job in dc anymore

so ill need a buffer for when i return

im making a personal goal 

this weekend

to create 2 drinks

the curvy bracket

& the milemarker

spending a nite

with vices

& hopefully a friend or two

my books coming together

sort of

trying to develop another video as well

made a large photo dump

with hopefully more being posted 

in the coming days

ive been having 

fucked up dreams again

still havent figured out why

i never really listened to

the good lifes 

album of the year

before

but holy fuck

easily tim kashers best work

that & this charming man

have been on constant repeat

awesome

i want this every morning

so true

(please) dont leave me motherfucker

this past weeks been weird

i went to p.s. 1 yesterday

saw james turrels piece

meeting

& it was awe inspiring

& left my mind

a category 4 hurricane

i apparently have a weird

attraction to girls

from florida

ive been writing a lot

piecing single lines together

to some how hopefully

make some sense of this life

ive been trying to be better

better person

run more

less drinking

not going so well

i leave new york in 6 weeks

lancaster

virginia beach

then hopefully 

a far northeast tour

with sara

then sleeping on big blues couch 

for a month

the books coming along

mentally

& conceptually

images should start to be materializing

sometime

in the next week or so

its basically the same book 

i was making in july

except with a couple added examples

of my continuous

fuck up & failures

melissas out of town

the next 4 weekends

living with her has reaffirmed

how good of a friend she is

im going to miss her when i leave

but i should be used to 

leaving/ losing people

by now

a mutinied crew

of a sinking ship

lost at sea

ps a video of gaslight anthem

covering trusty chords

is enough to make you warm inside

witnessing it in person

in the dead center of the crowd

front row

pushing yourself up

over every one elses shoulders

& screaming so loud

you lose your voice in 3 minutes

is enough to change your life