running on empty

ive decided
once i move away from a place
im never moving back

it finally hit me today
how mentally fucked up
i really am
ive left every girl ive ever been with
because id convinced myself
they were unhappy
simply for the fact
that i personally
couldnt believe
that there was any way
they could be happy with me

theres a three girls
that i still think about on a daily basis
& only reason why
(most likely)
is because i never got the chance with them
& i continuously wonder
if one of them was maybe

if i know i end
everything i start
why am i continuously searching
for new beginnings?

play none more black "this is satire"
& mewithoutYou "brother, sister"
simultaneously
at incredibly loud decibels
& youll understand
my mental & physical state
of the past week