i was recently talking with someone
who said that they hated
the getting to know you parts of relationships
the in between so to speak
& it finally dawned on me
thats the only part i do like
those first stories that you know
theyve only previously shared
with a hand full of people
the first nite spent at that persons place
trying to keep comfortable for eight hours
in a twin bed
in the early days of a humid september
clammy skin sticking to clammy skin
sharing songs
& movies
& books
& all niters just spilling it all
& thats where it ends for me
after a few sleep overs
a few all nite no punches pulled conversations
a shared speechless moment during that one song
& then i lose it
the thought of actually dating this person
& having it maybe last even a little bit
any routine or obligation
completely kills it for me
but by cutting these things short
before they even start
im continuously plagued
thinking of what
couldve & wouldve been
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