yell fire during a quiet scene

when youre most comfortable
is when you should abandon everything
start fresh
& do something
youve never done before

5 projects in 10 days
& im starting over on 3 of them
heres to taking chances

last goodbyes

in 24 hours
i have
seen the girl
i liked all thru high school
had lunch with the girl
i lost my virginity too
photographed the wedding rehearsal
of a family friend
not kissed (again) a girl
ive liked for about 3 years
given up on a girl
thats seems perfect
(but they all do at some point)
gotten in a fight with a roommate
related to a movie character
who likes to smash things
& have hot water music on repeat
(hwm is about all
thats keeping me sane these days)

im looking for something
do you know where i could find it?

simple hearts

weekend at the beach
left me happy
but sunburnt
i shot a lot
my finals are all
coming together nicely

im shooting a family friends wedding
this weekend
& hopefully seeing some people
i dearly miss

im officially moving out of big blue house
on may 31st
its going to be weird
to see it end
but it means
i can go on summer tour
with justins band

the braid reissues are amazing

& im trying to get my hands
on the new get up kids as well

im trying not to deal with girls right now
ive got bigger battles to fight
ive been running
which has been tremendous
for my mental health

i just keep searching
for what
i dont know

how bad could this hurt

lifes been a shit show lately
its allergy season
& like usual im not doing to well
i fucking hate sneezing

im trying to get plans together
for thesis

trying to find someone
to live in my house this summer

lots of trying & failing these days
ive been taking too many hours at work
not enough time for school work

i need to be in a car heading south
asap

banners & bandages

alcohol & sex are officially done
for the near future
both hinder my running schedule

hot water music "caution" on repeat

the girl im currently crushing on
is 29
which means theres zero chance
for yours truly

i have prints for sale
im trying to make rent for the summer
if you are remotely interested
please let me know

i came home tonite
& as my former boss used to say
i ran out my rage

im sick of people
i need away from everyone for a while

im shooting a family friends wedding
in a couple weeks
kind of a mind fuck

im ready for school to be done
but my summers kind of
up in the air at this point

i realized today
that there is a girl in my life
who when i find out shes engaged
im pretty sure ill be having a mental breakdown

sorry for the ramble

ruining graceland

after an amazing week in the south
im back in dc
im not happy about it
but you cant always be happy

its amazing what a run can do for me mentally
i realized lately ive let myself go
ive never been in the best shape
but ive always been better than this
im going to start running again
no matter the time constraints
& im going to start eating mostly vegan again
no more alcohol or soda or any of that bullshit
how can i expect any one to like me
if i dont like myself

we all lose

made a drunk fool of myself
in front of a girl this past weekend
im getting pretty good at this

i have a project due in 12 days
& i have zero idea what im doing
the ideas i did have
have fallen apart

but i dont care
im louisiana bound by noon tomorrow
everything else can go to hell

once again
i need out
i need new
i need away

im alright for now but i havent been

im trying to create my own family
ive never liked mine
& i have no memories before 8th grade
so now its time for me to decide
what is & is not my history

hot water musics caution
& vodka sprites
are all thats making the days pass

i want to move somewhere knew
where i know no one
& nothing

i saw beautiful losers today
& it reinforced preexisting mindsets

new york was weird & awkward
my friends & family are leaving me uneasy
& art school is still no place
for someone with low self esteem

i always kinda sorta wished i was someone else

swamped in work
projects & life
best friends breaking up
people being the same people

give up the ghost on repeat

no place like a strangers couch

boston this weekend
new york next weekend

trying to plan spring break
& summer
where im going
& with who

works been slow
lots of fucked up film
but im making moves
toward successful work

harmony should be visiting soon

im ready for spring

im considering not renting a place
next year
& just sleeping on friends couches
& floors

a big fat fucking bone to pick

its been snowing like crazy
its been nothing short of amazing
3 seasons of rescue me
in 3 days
lots of records on repeat

drove to delaware yesterday
nice to highway drive again

harmony may be coming to dc this weekend

short stories about fucking up
are not good for me to be writing
they come out too easy
& make me think too much

i want tattoos

none of my photo projects have been working out
last 5 or 6 rolls film have all been shit
looks like im going to be working with video

the past will never be again
so stop fixating on it

double your drinks
kiss the ones you want
lifes too short
to give a fuck

im a little rusty

my bodies kinda fucked right now
my nose is swollen
my eyes black
knuckles & knees
scraped & scabbed

ive been trying to figure out
states
words
kisses
photos
pain

fuck it
i guess we lost

sending postcards for former selves

adventureland
& road to perdition
two totally different movies
but both are amazing

photos didnt work out yesterday
bloody noses
& knees
black eyes
drunk words
kind of a shit show all around

ive said it before
you win some
you lose some

i want to make a movie

im trying to watch every hitchcock movie

florida sure knows how to make them

like a cat

read more
write more
talk less
think of new ideas
try new things
quit vices
dont listen to anyone
always kiss the prettiest girl

this is proof

classes have been good
already working on some projects
that i feel could turn out really well
lots involving blood
& new photo techniques
& self deprecation
thats kind of what i do

i went to philly yesterday
& lancaster
got the rest of my stuff
philly again next weekend?
new york maybe
possibly boston
i like keeping my options open

i saw bryan fallon of gaslight anthem
play an acoustic show last week
& of course it was amazing

2 new books in the works
based around the fact that
all i can think about these days
are 3 girls from florida
who are spread out all over the east coast
but all somehow are taking up space in my mind

stay free

classes start today
it feels weird
since i havent had real class
since last may
im excited to start working again
& trying to produce work to meet deadlines

i found where i want to work after school

im going to new york next weekend
to see the #12s last show
& hopefully get in
some melissa & harmony time

control the rage

i put off finding a job
in efforts of enjoying myself
im ready for classes to start

i got drunker last nite than i have in a while
& it just reiterated the fact that i shouldnt drink
fall out boy "take this to your grave"
has become my new running soundtrack
& against me! "as the eternal cowboy"
has become my get thru the day soundtrack
i know im about 5 years late on both
you win some
you lose some

ive been thinking to much lately
girls in ny
that i never had the chance to fuck up with
girls in florida
that make me question location
& girls in dc
that make me scream along
ive done somethings that im not to proud of
when gaslight anthem
pours from the stereo

its been a long time coming

turn of the key

i got back yesterday
tour was amazing
& weve all already talked
about summer tour
amazing music
all nite drives
& best friends
whats not to love
photos are up
while it was amazing
its made being back in dc even harder
as someone once told me
you are constantly in search of something
other than where you are
the words have never been truer
in ny i wanted to be here
now im here
& i want to be everywhere else

i didnt get to see tara
gainesville made me realize
how much i miss having harmony around
florida reminded me of beezer
gaslight anthem wont let me forget
how much of a hopeless romantic i am
& punk rock still makes the heart & soul
feel better
than any drink or therapist ever will

new years off to a good start

im trying to write a couple short stories
im going to start playing bass again
& ive learned not to cut your own hair
without a 2nd mirror
or at the very least a 2nd drink
& also try not to hang out with people
youve slept with
who still miss you

im living out of a box til the 30th
sleeping on the couch
that will be about 6 weeks
of living out of a bag/box
while awesome
its also not at the same time

mass amounts of running have begun
as well as ceasing consumption of alcohol

ps lean on sheena by the bouncing souls
will beat any other song youve ever listened to
in an awesome contest

the wanderers lament

im back in dc
but not for long
im going on a short tour
with justins band
til the 8th of january
& then im trying to convince
tara to come visit
i also need to find a job
at some point

this will most likely be
the last past of the year
i was planning a round up
list of sorts
but im having trouble

i started my year in toronto
& then getting drunk for my first time
in brooklyn
a roadtrip thru the south
which was everything
i couldve hoped for
it was the summer
of camp rock
met the german kid
we drank our way
thru working 9-5
i fell in love
& broke a heart or two
new york was rough at first
but i ended up really enjoying it
melissa is by far
the best roommate ive ever had
asked out a stranger
for the first time ever
made friends
downed drinks
kissed pretty girls
all in all it was a pretty solid year
they seem to keep getting better

im pretty sure
gaslight anthem was the
background music of the year
& hot water musics "trusty chords"
was the therapy

this year im making
100 resolutions
& one of those hundred
is to not care about
the other 99

nothing ever changes

im in va beach

lancaster was lancaster
it never seems to be an easy time
while im there
its always the highest of highs
& the lowest of lows
i saw sophie for the first time
in almost 2 years
& we sat in a diner for close to 5 hours
& just talked
i saw tara
& she always makes me happy
that girl can cure cancer
with a smile
heard justins bands new album
& its of course
amazing

im starting to realize
how fucked in the head i am
im looking for people to fix my problems
& i fixate on people
like tattoo girl
& the girl i had one date with
& girls i kissed a year or more ago
& i constantly wonder
how they feel about me
but the people who
ive fucked up with
& left
i just write off
fuck self relfection

i should be all over the northeast
in the coming week
or all over the south
depending how things pan out

im ready for it to be the 26th

chris wollard & the ship theives on repeat