you spend your whole life searching for the adult that you are
and spend the rest of it searching for the child that you were

standing in the river drowning

i love being around people who just want to have fun
i spent the morning with the girl that is my only random hook up, a crush from freshman year, & a long time friend that i rarely see. all in the name of cliff diving. no cliffs were found but that had quickly become just a side note to the adventure. sing alongs to pop punk. rope swings. im not doing any of this justice. but this morning reaffirmed my life & just added to my fuck the diagnosis/fuck the critics view. life is about fun. no drama/ no bullshit/ no cares.
its only after youve lost everything that youre free to do anything

my feet arent seeds

so continues the constant movement that is my life
in 3 weeks ill be living in a big blue house in dc
work has pretty much taken over my life
ive become friends with exs
& exs friends with each other
i never unpacked from when i left dc
ive been living out of a tupperware containter with my clothes
so im unpacking & repacking everything
i hardly see anyone anymore
& im ok with that

i guess this is growing up

thanks to a couple good friends & someone id never met
i got to shoot warped tour yesterday
i was excited
but quickly realized i wasnt 14 anymore
i saw 3 bands set your goals/ gaslight anthem/ bouncing souls
it was worth the trip to see my friends & those 3 bands alone
last time i went to warped tour was 3 summers ago
& it still was a decent line up
these days its just bad metalcore bands
& a suprising number of pop groups
i did get the new have heart tho & its beyond words in amazingness
working all day everyday til god knows when
but ill be in dc soon

i cant wait til im back in the city

ive got a love/hate relationship with philly
& and its an ever growing battle in my head
justin & i saw hot water music last nite at the troc
i passed them behind the club & was able take the above photo
we drove back & got home around 2am
i woke up this morning for work at 8
voiceless bruised ribs & ridiculously tired
but well worth it
justin & i are doing a musical project
im excited to get my words out in a different way
my time in lancaster is going quick which is good
chris is looking at apartments in dc today

icons of nothing

lancaster has been nothing more or less than i expected
working a lot
way too much time at diners
& the same half dozen people almost daily
im just kind of going thru the motions at this point
til i leave for dc
how water music & philly are this time next week
which will include 2 of my favorite people

between two cities
more than a little love is lost
we sleep in the same bed now
but its just not the same
as that first nite
i capsized the alphabet
& screamed your name
thru another cigarette sunrise
as weve learned in recent weeks
when the scrabble board spells
champagne & oral sex
its gonna be a long nite